Special Needs Versus Typical Parenting – The Struggle is Real
Yes, I am a special needs mom, but I have typical children too. I struggle to keep that balance between the two. When it comes to taking sides in special needs versus typical parenting – the struggle is real.
What do you do when your heart is split, divided between two places? When you have two very important things going on? Two kids demanding you be there, for them? Two kids wanting your undivided attention, and a third that needs love too?
If you thinking “Ummm, I don’t know, that’s a hard decision.” Yeah, that’s kinda where I’m at, a lot of the time.
An example situation
On one hand, I have a sick kid in the hospital. She needs loves, cuddles, support, and reassure.
On the other hand, I have a kid expecting me to be at his school for a performance he has worked most of the school year for. Above all people, he wants mom there. He would also like the rest of his family there. Luckily, he understands not everyone can be there. He will be crushed if mom missed his Fairytale Ball.
That brings us back to, what to do? Well, it’s not easy. Not easy by any means. I feel divided. Torn. Heartbroken. I wish I could split myself in two, or be cloned…anything to make this hurt stop. It would be magical to take the unfairness away from everyone involved. I decided, since Dad can be at the hospital, I need to go to the school performance…for my son’s mental well being.
The message
It sucks parenting on both sides of the fence, typical and special needs, the struggle is real. Life seems so incredibly unfair at times. The things my family has to sacrifice to make life as normal as possible is nothing short of insane. Living this double-sided life is enough to bring anyone to their knees.
Before you judge me, as a special needs parent, for having to leave my child in the hospital, remember this:
- I don’t want to make this decision.
- I am terrified of what might happen while I’m gone.
- I wish I could change this.
- Sometimes I have to make decisions that may not make sense to others.
- I assure you, I have already run through every possible scenario, and am more filled with anxiety than before.
- I have mulled over my options until it hurts, mentally and physically.
- I have other children that need me too. Sometimes the mental need of my typical children has to win.
I don’t expect you to understand, I just ask that you don’t judge me, at least not out loud. Most importantly, I hope you never have to be in the same position I’m in.
Sincerely,
Your neighborhood special needs mom
On a side note: this is post was not inspired by any one situation. This is something I have thought about multiple times throughout the years.
